Random observation of self!

1. I am very scared of a lot of things in life. Quite the contrary to my bold / tough image
2. I am quite an irritating bag of bones. I end up irritating myself the most.
3. I hate crying. I especially hate crying in front of others.
4. I hate letting others know what I am thinking. Including my moods or opinions.
5. I have a little too many secrets with myself. Not dark ones or anything. But little little ones. Things that I would never tell anyone.
6. Not a single person in this world knows everything about me. Not one.
7. I am very insecure. About me, about my relationships, about everything around me.
8. I worry a lot. For absolutely no reason.
9. I am quite an un-emotional idiot. I think I came without that fitting. Manufacturing defect must be.
10. Actually that is not quite correct. I get hurt very easily. No one will know it but me though.
11. I have been wanting to live alone all my life. I don need people around me. I need my “ME” time.
12. Actually that is quite wrong. I need people around me.
13. I’m confused. All the time. I really don’t know what it is that I want. Or don’t want.
14. I’m scared of doctors. Have a feeling they are all out to cause pain and kill people. I would probably bear the pain than see a doctor.
15. I am very stubborn. Even if i know I shouldn't be doing somethin and if i make up my mind, I still end up doing it.
16. I hate hurting others. It sometimes makes me lie just to ensure they aren't hurt.
17. I am scared of laughing too much or just being too happy. I think it might retaliate and make me sad.
18. I hate my smile.
19. I love my friends and would do absolutely anything for them.
20. I decided to write this when i was at my all time high and then realised I really cannot boast much with these traits. So I am gonna decide to change a bit... Shall let you know how that goes very soon...