Chrysanthemum VS Kanchipuram

Most people in general have an idea about how they want their most special day aka Wedding to be. People to be married soon, those yet to find the right one, those yet to pass class 5, most people in general do have an idea. And a big misconception is that, the women race usually has a better hand at planning and visualizing their (real or imaginary) wedding then men (technically women have a better hand in most things in life than men. But that is for a different post). Truth is…. Not all women are made the same way.

Some women dream about their wedding even before they understand what it entitles. Some start their planning and visualizing even before they know who the groom is (How does it matter right?). They would already have a rough idea of what color Sari to wear for which occasion; what color vesti should the groom wear; what will be the spread; How many items; Who will be the make up artist; what will their parents wear; what should be the color of the middle flower in between the zillion flowers…. you get my drift right?? Yeah… so moving on…

Some women do not plan THAT ahead. They prefer to wait until Mr. Right walks into their life…. in a shining armor no less and sweep them off their feet. And then they are able to imagine the colorful wedding in its finest glory with the laughing relatives and amused friends in their blissful moods for a romantic start to their wonderful life ahead (woo hoo… I learnt new adjectives)

Some women have no such plans at all. Zilch imagination. UNTIL that is…. their fathers randomly choose 97 random men from hundreds of random odd profiles and almost force them to choose a random one among the random others. And the woman starts to get random thoughts of killing random people in random methods. And even in all the randomness they don’t randomly think of HOW they want their random wedding with the random groom to be. Note: Random is the key word here.

If you know me well enough you also know where in the above category I fall. If you do not know me well enough you should still know where I belong.

So there I was… Randomly (Note to self: Learn new words) trying to figure out my life when Mr. Right happened :) Bliss is coming… shy still uncoming.

And then the rest did follow. Like the meeting, the talking, the discussing, the smiling, the teeth biting but still smiling (only Ashwin. Not Me) the agreeing, the disagreeing, the planning, and finally the Wedding .

And I STILL did not have a clue of HOW I wanted my wedding to be. Of course I knew I wanted to get married. But the hows and wheres reallllllllllllly did not crop into mind at all. My mind did not pop up this particular dream color that I should choose for my Sari. It refused to tell me if I should wear a gold earring with a pink stone or a pink lehenga with gold embroidery (I hate both colors anyway). I was not sure if I liked to have it grand or small or whatever. I din’t wake up with the perfect secret recipe to be served. And I most definitely did not know what color the cook or his assistants should wear. All I knew was I was happy. Technically this blog should end here……

But no………. I happened to chance upon and be a close witness cum participant to a Goan Christian Wedding. And that is it!

The cheer magic of the White Christian wedding made me realize a lot of things that I now want to have in my wedding. And this post is about how I am going to incorporate all that into my wedding ;) Ka Ching (Note: Most of the things I want in this list is impossible. But let a girl fantasize no….)

1. Wish - I want flower girls. (I even have one singled out :)). Small cute little girls wearing the same color angel dress with matching flowers in their baskets and matching clips in their hair and a dazzling smile to make everyone want to crush them into hug. (Ok maybe not EVERYONE….. But still). Reality - Technically this can be incorporated into my wedding. But I might have to adjust to having the flower girls wearing ching chang multi color pattu pavadai and I should be content with multi color flowers on their hair. (Note: the multi colors of the pattu pavadai is not the same multi color flowers on their hair.) And they will not walk in front of me to announce my arrival. They will be scattered around the hall trying to evade their mums. So therefore… No clips. No baskets. No matching dresses. No announcement. Nothing. Which is how it would have been anyway. So……….. Point ruled out!

2. Wish - I want Bridesmaid and Best Men. I want them to do a slow waltz before I join them with Ashwin. Reality - Urm…. Imagine this… “Dear thatha…. My Friend so & so and Ashwin’s friend so & so, who do not know each other will kattipudichify each other tightly and dance. Then I will also join with Ashwin and also kattipudichify him and dance during my reception. Is that ok with you???????” By the time I finish my sentence the in general population concerning my marriage might have reduced. And this is in spite of the fact that I will be legally married and can WHAT I WANT by then. But still…….. Sigh!!!!

3. Wish - I want to wear a gown for my wedding. A White / cream, glittery, flowy, off shoulder, gown with Lace and stones and a veil. Reality – Huh… let me see….. Eight sari’s in two days. Urm… can’t chuck that… can’t chuck this…. Huh….No not this either…. Oops....can’t do that either…. Oh no wont happen…. Ok…. I am having a slight mathematical problem trying to figure out how to shrink 8 into 1. But essential point is this; Wish = Not happening!!

4. Wish - I want a wedding which starts and gets done in 2 hours flat! Reality – I am having a wedding which will not get done less than 48 hours from the time it starts. Can I try talking to those around me and jus have a normal wedding??? Urm… This is like asking if I want my tooth extracted by a dental student who flunked all 10 semesters continuously! (On second thought…. The tooth extraction might be easier)

So where do I stand now?

Back to square one! A lot wiser though!

Why wish for a different wedding when you can have a dream wedding in your own way right? I am super happy with the entire way my wedding plans are going. I am excited about the rituals and the other things associated with it. I am looking forward to the fun and the happiness i am going to share in the two days. I am quite satisfied and more than glad with the nitty gritty details of my wedding being planned. I give complete trust onto the planning people and love everything even before I’ve seen them.

I may not wear a white gown. But I get to glitter in my own kanchipuram. I will not get to slow waltz with Ashwin, But I can still crush appalams on his head and have rice thrown on me. I will not have flowers girls with flowers baskets, but I still get to crush the cutie pies with my hug. I get to be with my near and dear ones and pull their legs and make fun of them and in general be in the spotlight, even if it is only for a day or two.

And most importantly I get to cherish this day with someone way too special in my life! What more can I ask for????? :)